Troublemaker
by Flamebird1001
Summary: Inspired by the song and video clip 'Troublemaker' by Olly Murs. AU, no powers or superhero-ness, just Artemis being clumsy and Wally always noticing it. One-shot.


So, this story has been sitting in my computer for a couple of months, and only now did I bother to upload it! This is me trying to write a funny story, but I don't think it quite worked.

Hope you liked it.

Oh, and I notice people putting up things like Disclaimers, so I'm just going to say that obviously, I own nothing.

Inspired by the song 'Troublemaker' by Olly Murs.

* * *

"Yo dude! Where are you?" Wally said into his mobile phone.

Dick's irritated voice answered him, "I'm in exactly the same spot I was in when you called two minutes ago."

"You're running seriously late for our manly bonding outing," Wally whined.

"Going to eat out at a café is hardly 'manly.' And anyway, it's not my fault the traffic between Gotham and Central is ridiculous," Dick snapped.

"Okay, okay. But you are so paying for the bill," Wally said.

He heard Dick mutter some few choice words, and then quickly disconnected the call. Wally stepped inside the café he had been hovering over for the past five minutes. It was a fifties style diner, with a black and white tiles, plush red booths and even a jukebox in the corner. It had become Wally's favourite place to eat since he discovered the all-you-can-eat buffet for $12. He sat down on the usual seat, close to the kitchen and waited for Dick to arrive.

"May I take your order?" a pleasant sounding female voice rang out.

Wally raised his eyes to see an extremely attractive waitress standing in front of him. She was tall and shapely, with her blonde hair falling out from her ponytail, and an inappropriately short skirt that showed off way too much of her slender, muscular legs.

Not that Wally was complaining, of course.

He smirked at her, "My name's Wally," he said.

She rolled her eyes pretty, almond-shaped grey eyes and said again, "May I take your order, Wally?"

"What's your name?" Wally asked, leaning towards her.

The waitress sighed and said in a very annoyed tone, "I really don't have time for this. Now would you please just order something, eat it, and then leave with a large tip?"

Wally laughed, which seemed to piss her off even more, "Chill, babe. I'll take a large coffee. Black. With lots of sugar."

The girl smiled winningly, "Anything else?"

"Your phone number?"

The girls' narrowed expression was an answer enough for Wally, and he put his hands up in surrender.

The waitress walked off, and Wally couldn't help but watch her go. Damn, she looked sexy as hell, with her hips swaying and everything. Wally couldn't help but be reminded of a cat; the girl had a feline sort of grace to her. Though he highly doubted she had the temperament of a domestic cat. Maybe a tiger would describe her better?

Wally watched her walk past a sleazy looking man to get to the kitchen, and the man immediately slapped her butt as she walked past. Wally couldn't help but feel disgusted at the man. He noticed that the whole diner had gone quiet, waiting for the exchange between the two. The waitress turned around slowly, anger blazing in her grey eyes.

"Hey doll, be a darling and get me some cold water will ya?" the man asked.

The waitress narrowed her eyes. "Of course," she said coolly.

Wally watched her turn around and grab a pitcher of cold water. She then promptly tipped it over the man's head. "Cold enough for you?" she asked.

The man jumped up, spluttering obscenities at her. Wally couldn't help but laugh loudly while the diner watched on in awed silence. The girl caught his eye and he winked at her, making her blush and turn away quickly. All the diners eyes were on the girl, though most were smirking at the man's discomfort. Suddenly, the owner of the diner came rushing out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled at the waitress.

The girl was about to protest but the man stopped her.

"No. No excuses Artemis. Just get the fuck out," he yelled at her, and then began to apologize to the man.

Artemis looked down, took off her apron and stalked out of the diner, unaware of Wally watching her as she left.

* * *

Wally walked inside the music store, greeting the owner with a suave smile. He went to the same music shop every week, just to see how the sales were going. He was a musician after all, so he made it a point to check out how popular his music was.

Of course, Dick would just say that he had a big ego and really just went there so he could check himself out posing in his new album, but Wally preferred not to think like that.

Wally didn't expect to see Artemis, sorting through the music and putting it in alphabetical order.

"Funny seeing you again," Wally said to her from behind, leaning over her shoulder.

Artemis jumped back violently, then took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

"Oh, it's you again," she said, looking down her nose at him.

Wally smirked at her, and she pretended to ignore him.

"So, are you new around Central?" he asked.

She looked at him, debating whether to answer his question. When she realised he wasn't going to move away, she sighed.

"Yeah, I just moved here from Gotham," she said shortly.

Wally wouldn't let up though, "Planning to be a shop owner or something?"

"No! I just need a job so I can pay the rent for my apartment. I want to be an author," she said.

"Cool. That's interesting." Wally replied, and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"You know, I don't think we ever properly met," Wally mused.

The blonde sighed again, rolling her eyes. "Artemis Crock."

Wally nodded, a smile creeping across his face.

"You know, usually this would be the part where you told me your name instead of doing that creepy smile," Artemis said snidely.

Wally's grin could probably rival the Cheshire Cat. "I've already told you my name. But just in case you've forgotten," he tapped on CD case Artemis was holding.

Artemis looked down to see the cover of the CD had a black and white photo of Wally on it, complete with Wally West written on it. She looked up in astonishment, and took a step back.

Unfortunately for Artemis, she backed up against a wobbly bookshelf. The tall shelf toppled over, spilling books and crashed down against another bookshelf. It had a domino effect, all the bookshelves falling down one after the other, with Artemis sitting on the floor next to one.

Wally winced in pain for her, and extended an arm to help her up. Artemis pushed his hand aside, scowling, and assessed the damage that she made. At that moment, a very angry shopkeeper ran out and started sobbing loudly.

"You!" he pointed a shaky finger at Artemis.

Artemis simply brought the headphones around her neck to her ears, and gave the shopkeeper a quizzical look. She pointed at herself and mimed that she couldn't hear him. Wally watched as Artemis did walked out of the shop, swaying to a beat that only she could hear, and he just couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

His third encounter with Artemis was a completely silent exchange. He was walking down a pretty suburban neighbourhood, going to a summer barbeque at Megan and Conner's house. He was letting his mind wonder, mainly about a new song he was thinking of writing about a certain blonde he just couldn't get out of his head.

He rounded the corner to Megan's street, and then speak of the devil, there she was.

Artemis was in a garden, presumably hers, with the watering hose on. She was wearing really short shorts and a tank top that Wally just couldn't help staring at. She was watering the garden, absently humming to herself.

Wally was about to walk past and maybe call out to her or something, but he hesitated for a second, and after he witnessed what Artemis did next, he was silently thankful that he did.

Artemis had started dancing. She started just by shaking her hips a little, and then went for bigger, wilder moves, shimmying her hips and the water hose. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was parted slightly, lips moving soundlessly as she mouthed the words to a song only she could here. Artemis did a little spin, opening her eyes to see a smirking Wally watching her every move.

Artemis shrieked in surprise, tangling herself in the hose pipe and falling down. She lost her grip on the hose and it went crazy, jumping up and down spraying water everywhere. Artemis scrambled around madly trying to catch it, but only making her wet in the process.

Wally was trying to contain his laughter, but he spotted the tap that was connected to the hose. Quickly, he jumped over the short fence of her garden and turned it off. The hose went still, and Artemis was left panting, muddy and drenched. Wally, on the other hand, was remarkably clean, and he gave Artemis a little salute as he jumped over his fence and started walking to Megan's house.

Wally didn't look back to see the stiff middle finger Artemis was giving him.

* * *

Dick's new girlfriend, Barbra, birthday was coming up, so he and Wally were in the mall, gift-shopping. Wally had protested at first, claiming that he was a guy and wouldn't know what Babs wanted, but Dick had persuaded him by promising to buy lunch.

"Get her some Swarovski earrings or something; we've been through like, every shop!" Wally complained.

"We've been in two shops, Wally. And anyway, I want to get her something cheap and gaudy, so she thinks that I'm a scumbag, and then I'll surprise her with her real present," Dick said.

"And what would be her real present?" Wally asked.

Dick smiled mischievously and gestured to himself, "Me, of course."

Wally rolled his eyes and punched Dick lightly, "Dog."

"That shop looks interesting," Dick said, pointing to a women's clothing and accessory store.

Wally and Dick approached the store, Dick looking at the dresses and jewellery the mannequin was wearing and Wally just looking at his own reflection, teasing his hair up so it looked perfect.

"Hey, what do you think of that necklace?" Dick asked.

Wally looked up, but instead of seeing a necklace or mannequin, he came face to face with the unmistakeable grey eyes of Artemis.

As Artemis's eyes met his own, he saw her eyes widen. She shook her head, clearly signalling for him to not come in the store, but Wally just grinned at her and nudged Dick in the ribs.

"Let's go inside and see the other products," Wally suggested.

Dick raised an eyebrow in surprise but didn't say anything, letting the older boy lead him inside. He did manage to catch the furious face of the blonde shop attendant though.

Wally and Dick were barely inside the door when Artemis planted herself firmly in their path.

"You cannot come in here," she hissed at Wally.

Dick looked at Wally in surprise, but Wally was just laughing in a deliriously happy way, in a way that Dick hadn't seen since Wally's long-time girlfriend, Linda, broke his heart.

"I'm pretty sure it's against employee rules to kick a person out of the store when they haven't done anything, beautiful," Wally said cheerfully.

Artemis kept glaring at Wally, barely even glancing at Dick.

"I have a nasty habit of losing my job whenever you're there, and I really need this job. You have to leave, now," Artemis said, emphasizing the last words.

Wally leaned back on his heels, smiling lazily, "Really? You're going to blame me for dumping water on a customer, knocking over a bunch of books and losing control of a water hose? I don't think so babe. I think you're just a magnet for trouble."

Artemis blushed, her cheeks flaming, but before she could retaliate the shop owner called out to her, telling her to redress the mannequins.

Artemis nodded slightly and left the two boys.

"Who was that?" Dick asked.

"Just a girl," Wally said dismissively.

Dick smirked to himself, he knew better. Wally hadn't been this animated in a very long time, and it was only because of Artemis that he was finally turning back into the old Wally he knew. Dick just smiled quietly, refraining himself on commenting as his friend discreetly watched Artemis. Dick looked through all the items, and then picked out a hideous, gaudy necklace that he knew Barbra would hate. He grinned, knowing that she'd be furious with him, but then hopefully become ten times happier when he presented her with the designer dress and diamond earrings. And of course, himself.

Dick paid for the item, and then motioned for Wally to go outside. Wally nodded, walking past the mannequin section and calling out, "Cya, Artemis."

The blonde, looked up, startled, and pulled on the mannequins arm with just a bit too much force. The mannequins arm tore of, making Artemis unbalanced. Artemis fell onto the other mannequins, ripping the expensive skirt she was holding. The other mannequins fell to the floor, spilling out their precious jewellery to the floor.

Artemis sat there, stunned, and Dick took the horrified shriek from the shop owner as a cue to grab Wally and get out of there.

* * *

"Finally, he's here! Guys night out has officially begun!" Roy yelled loudly across the frenzied bar to Wally. He raised his glass of beer in cheers, and Dick, Kaldur and Conner followed suit.

Wally eased himself into the red leather couch next to Dick, and happily found a glass of vodka and coke waiting for him. He relaxed into the chair, making a vague excuse of why he was late.

"So, Walls, Dickie boy here has been telling us of a certain blonde troublemaker you've taken a liking too," Roy said, smirking slightly over his glass.

"You're drunk, Roy," Wally said indignantly, glaring at Dick.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe I am. Still doesn't mean that you've become obsessed with a blonde hottie," Roy retaliated.

"I am not obsessed! And what do you mean by blonde hottie? You've never even seen her!"

"Artemis Crock from Gotham? Pretty sure I had one night of magic with her sister, if you know what I mean," Roy said suggestively.

"Yeah, thanks Roy, but I think we all got that," Conner said dryly.

"It is a good thing, I say, that you have taken a liking to this girl. Ever since Linda broke up with you, you have been far too down and sad. It is nice to see this girl bring out the best in you again," Kaldur said placidly, sipping his non-alcoholic coke.

Wally flushed red and rolled his eyes as the table continued to discuss him and his love-life.

He looked away, towards the front door. There were a group of girls who had just entered, loudly talking and laughing. Wally could see Zatanna and Raquel, two of Dick's exes and still close friends, and then he saw Artemis.

Almost immediately his eyes zoned in on her, she was wearing a really short, tight dark green dress that hugged her curves, making Wally's mouth water. Her hair was down, almost like a golden halo around her. She was wearing tall, black pumps that accentuated her lean legs. Wally smirked, Artemis wearing heels? She could barely stay upright in flats, for crying out loud.

"What the hell are you smirking at?" Conner asked, and his eyes followed Wally's line of vision.

"The blonde in the green dress, is that her?" Conner asked, and Wally smiled in answer.

Artemis turned then, and her grey eyes narrowed as she saw Wally. She smiled slightly, and Wally grinned right back at her. Artemis turned her head away from him slightly, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Wally could see that she was smirking, probably from the look of complete desire written all over Wally's face. God, he wanted to run his fingers through her hair; touch her smooth limbs; kiss her beautiful lips.

"Wally! Stop undressing her with your eyes and just go talk to her," Dick whispered urgently in his ear.

Wally swatted Dick, but rose out of his seat anyway, making a beeline towards Artemis.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted her.

"Wally, are you a stalker by any chance?" Artemis asked casually.

"Nope. Just a very lucky man," Wally answered.

"Right. Your friends are staring at us," she told him, nodding her head towards the group of boys.

Wally rolled his eyes skyward, "Yeah. They tend to do that. Want to dance?"

Artemis laughed, shaking her head, "No thanks. I mean, not that I don't want to, it's just that my heels are incredibly tall, and you know what a klutz I am."

"I promise you'll stay upright with me, babe," Wally told her.

Wally grabbed Artemis by the arm, leading her to the dance floor. He started gently swaying back and forth, both of his hands placed firmly on her waist.

"See? This isn't so bad," he said.

Artemis laughed shakily; she was so close to Wally he could feel her breath on his neck.

"Not bad. Not bad at all," Artemis replied softly.

After swaying back and forth for a couple of songs, Wally gently untangled himself from Artemis.

"You want a drink?" he asked.

Artemis nodded, and Wally left to go get something. Upon returning, he saw Artemis being hit on by some guy. The creep kept putting his hands all over Artemis, trying to cop a feel. Wally quickened his pace, trying to get to the guy so he could, you know, murder him, but he didn't have to worry. Artemis proved she could take care of herself by punching the creep in the face. Wally rushed over to Artemis, pretty much dragging her away from the guy she had just punched. A bouncer stepped forward to stop them, but Wally just picks Artemis up in his arms and races out the club door.

"Wally! Put me down!" Artemis yelled at him, but Wally didn't respond. Instead, he just keeps running.

"Wallace West, I swear to God, if you don't put me down, so help me I will-" Artemis tried to say, but she got cut off as Wally abruptly drops her, and then begins kissing her.

He can feel as Artemis hesitates, her lips rigid against his, and then she melts into the kiss. Artemis kisses him back with as much passion as he had kissed her, twining her hands into his hair while his hands go to cup her face. His hands then slide down her body, stopping at her waist so he can pull them closer together.

They break apart, each gasping for air.

"What was that for?" Artemis asked.

Wally lets out a shaky laugh, "I've been wanting to do that since I saw you throw a pitcher of water in that man's face. God, Artemis, you're not a klutz. You're just a… troublemaker."

"Troublemaker?" Artemis repeats, confused.

"Yep. You get yourself into all sorts of trouble. Most people would have just walked away from the creepy guy, but no, you had to go punch him," Wally said.

He began tracing the outline of her lips with his finger, brushing her cheek softly with his thumb.

"Is being a troublemaker… a bad thing?" Artemis asked.

She curls one hand into Wally's shirt, the other one still tangled in his fiery red hair.

"No. Definitely not. In fact, I think it makes you as sexy as hell," Wally answered.

At that, Artemis smirked, pulling Wally roughly by his shirt so their lips could mesh together again. He looped his arms around her waist and lifted her so she was on her toes.

Artemis pulled back slightly, so only their noses were touching.

"How about we go back to your apartment and I can show you just how much trouble I can make?"

* * *

I guess this shows that I seriously can't write humor :/ Anyway, I hope you like it, and I would love it if you would review! Thanks!


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